when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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