I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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