well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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