I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the day after is always just damage control
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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