I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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