i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
