Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
