I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
