its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
should my penis look like a turkey
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
