so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
