remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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