they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
