so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
