3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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