chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
