I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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