I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
