what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
