its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
