so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
