Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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