it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
