I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
try to milk me bitch
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
