Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
