so that wasnt chicken after all
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Gay?
German.
Pity.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Drunk is not a location!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
