Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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