vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
