office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
