who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
