My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
