If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
