Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
