I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
