Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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