And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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