I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
