I'm eating all of the evidence.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
