Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
