do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
