he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
