So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
