There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
