I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
