Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
