You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
