; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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