I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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