i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
