And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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