I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This baby is an asshole
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
