i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
