No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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